I just finished reading a Yahoo article about a woman in
Texas and her family who were killed by her former abuser. My stomach was in
knots while I was reading this. It hit too close to home. It could’ve been me.
This woman was, luckily, able to leave her abuser. He was
supposed to go to prison for 25+ years but he plead down and served 5. He then
was able to purchase a firearm online. He then took the firearm and murdered
his ex-wife and her entire family, including his own son.
I just…I can’t.
This woman was able to leave her abuser – which is hard
enough, believe me – only for him to find her and kill her. She could have died
earlier in the relationship but she got away. She made the difficult and
courageous decision to leave her abuser…and it didn’t help.
This man was able to find and purchase a firearm online. On
the internet. Now, I know that some of you reading this will be like “It’s not
that easy!” And you’re right. It’s isn’t. There’s still a background check and guns
still get sent to federal licensed dealer. But how was this man, a known
domestic abuser, able to purchase a gun? Did he find a private seller where he
didn’t need a background check and just bought met the seller in an alley
somewhere?
Being a woman who has been in previous domestic violence
situations, it’s really REALLY scary to know this. According to the FBI,
between 2003 and 2012, “34% of all women murdered were killed by an intimate
partner.”
Huffington Post published an article titled “30 shocking
domestic violence statistics that remind us it’s an epidemic.” It lists things
like this: Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women; Nearly 5
million women in the US experience physical violence by a partner each year;
Every minute, 20 people are victims of intimate partner violence; 18,00 women
have been killed in DV disputes since 2003; 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will be
victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime; 81% is the
percentage of women who are stalked by a current or former male partner who are
also physically abused by that partner; and last but not least – women who are victims
of DV are 8x more likely to be killed by an intimate partner if there are
firearms in the home.
This is unacceptable. The loopholes in gun ownership are unacceptable.
The fact that some women have to fear for their lives while in a relationship
and after leaving it is unacceptable.
I just can’t get it out of my head that this could have been
me. Being a woman who has been in violent relationships, I know how difficult
it is to get out. I know how difficult it is to stay away from the abusers. I
know how difficult it is to stay safe after you’re out. I wasn’t always so lucky
to stay safe afterwards but I’m lucky enough to still be alive.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Please, if you
know someone who is in this type of relationship, let them know you are there
for them. Look for the signs. Let them know that there is help available. Wear
purple to show your support or share your own story. Call on Congress for gun
legislation, too. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. If you’re reading
this and you need help, please seek it. If you just need someone to talk to, I
am always available.
