Since my last post, my fiancé and I have closed the distance. I moved to Chicago from West Virginia on February 22. I think I'm finally adjusting now but it's taken longer than I expected. It'll take a little longer to feel okay every day.
I've had a couple of bad days here. I never thought I would feel homesick but when you live in one place for so long, a place where your family & friends are, a place with so many memories...it's hard. I'm lucky that my fiancé knows how to make me feel better.
I finally got a job that doesn't pay me minimum wage & allows me to do what I went to college for. When I first got here, I was so impatient about finding a job that most of the time, I thought about just giving up. But finally, FINALLY, I was given a chance. After two years of searching relentlessly, I was offered a job with TASC (TASC.org, if you're interested.
There's been many days where I've just wanted to pack up and move back home to WV but then I remember why I made the move. There was nothing left for me in WV. I worked 60+ hours a week just to have an empty bank account. I worked so hard for so long and I felt like I was going nowhere fast.
I'm so lucky that I have a fiancé who helps me through the difficult times. It hasn't always been easy. There's been times I've just wanted to walk out the door and never come back. We haven't always been the best we could to each other but we are working on it.
Every day is a struggle for me. Since moving, I have more anxiety than I've ever experienced. I've had more depressive days where I never even thought about getting out of bed, let alone being able to do it. There's days where I just want to crawl into a hole and never ever come out.
I've also never had such great times. We've shared so many laughs and made so many memories just in the short time I've been living here. (Can I just say that I'm extremely happy that I don't have to fly into O'Hare anymore?!)
Every night when David comes home from work, I get a kiss and a hug and we watch TV or a movie and just bask in each other's presence. He has absolutely no idea that he's what keeps me going in this crazy world. I am forever grateful and thankful that after every curve ball we've been thrown, we knock them out of the park. (Sorry, I think I've been watching too much baseball.)
But seriously, things haven't always been the best and we know that it won't always be kittens and rainbows. We would be naive to think that there won't be bridges we have to cross or storms we have to weather. The best part about it is knowing that I don't have to go it alone. I'll always have a hand to hold. I have the most wonderful partner, fiancé, and best friend that I could ever ask for...and for that, I am thankful.
In summation, I am doing just fine for everyone who has been asking. Some days are better than others but I'm hanging in there. Next post will be more interesting. Promise.
